Oh, to be loved…

Valentine’s Day.

It used to be cute and fun when my man child was young and we did little valentines that I always forgot about until the last minute. Gimme a break, y’all… this was back in the days before Pinterest and I was a young, dumb, single mom… I forgot these things! So it was fun to do that “oh crap!” scramble to get it all done in time for school in the morning.

Then he grew up. It wasn’t cute and fun anymore. It became stupid. I became cynical. It was a day to honor something I’d never really been able to get my hands on and that pissed me off. Everyone had love and I didn’t! Just a little hyperbole and cynicism to make your day brighter!

One day, though, over the last couple of years and even more so this year, all that just changed.

Yes! We should be falling deeper in love every day.

Yes! We should show the person we love how important and cherished they are every day!-1572956417

Yes! We shouldn’t need a “holiday” for us to be able to express our love.

But, gosh… really? What’s so wrong about having a day to honor love? A day to express our commitment and joy to someone else? Why and how has is become a horrible thing?

We have honorarium days of all sorts. Why should love be shafted?

Also, the more and more I come to realize that I may never have “a love” with which I can spend this day; I’m reminded of all the ways and people to whom I can show love to on this day.

We don’t always understand another person’s tenderness toward this day. Someone who may have a lost love or a divorced love or a widowed love or on and on… that’s where my heart longs to be today.

So what if I don’t “have a love” per se because we all have SOMEONE to love and to whom we can show our love. Christ’s love through us.

Go love someone today. Don’t be stingy with something that was so freely given to you. Don’t be cynical and simple-minded to a day that might be nothing to you. Think about how you can be a blessing, how you can be like Jesus, with skin on, who just wants to show kindness and love to another person.

Today — I love Valentine’s Day!

P.S. I love it most because as I’m getting ready to post this, I get a message, from a sweet sister I barely know in the flesh, but have had the pleasure of knowing her family for years and getting to know her more through social media, send me a sweet encouragement – straight from her mouth, inspired by Christ’s love, and deep into my heart places. I am wildly loved. You are too.

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Online dating? Why, yes… I’ve done that!

Today I had the opportunity to guest post on my friend’s blog! Here’s my teaser…

The Great Expectations… of online dating.

I’m coming clean. Putting it out for the whole social media world to know… I did the online dating “thing” in the last year. There it is. I subscribed for 6 months on Christian Mingle and reupped for another 6 months, but only chose to stick around for about a month of that before saying goodbye to all of it.

I’ll be honest… I’m a novice, naïve, no idea what I’m doing kinda dater. To say that I was “wet behind the ears” would be a complete understatement of my experience. And I went in with A LOT of expectations. Not only on the site to find my “perfect match” but on men to be who I thought and expected them to be.

Now, in fairness, I’m a woman writing from my own experiences and things that I’ve been able to witness and glean during my time in the online dating world.

To read the rest, please visit blupin’s blog here.

Jesus is all we need, right?

“You don’t need another human being to make your life complete, but let’s be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul, but fractures to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world.” ~ Emery Allen

A friend shared this quote with me last week. When she did, she also said, “I thought this was a good quote especially for my single friends who keep being told “Jesus is all you need”, as if Jesus doesn’t meet our needs through other people. Like he generally provides actual tangible food (not just spiritual food) to keep us from starving, he generally meets other needs in the physical realm too. So why do we get told our other physical and emotional needs should be satisfied fully in the spiritual realm?”

It’s been sticking with me ever since I saw it because, well… it’s true. My married friends, and some singles, too.. will often make comments about how Jesus is everything we need. And, before anyone gets twisted… I KNOW that I have no needs He cannot meet. I know that He is in complete control. I know that He walks with me in my deepest and darkest places. I know that He rejoices with me. He does always provide for me. always.

Should I remain single forever, Jesus will somehow find a way to meet that need in me. I know that.

That doesn’t mean, though, that I’m not longing for someone. That doesn’t mean it’s bad to desire physical contact. That doesn’t mean that I give up my dreams to find my love of a lifetime because Jesus is all I need.

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I do need Jesus. He is the very thing that I need. And because of Him, I have the strength to endure this waiting period. This very long season of singleness. This heart-crushing reality that “it” may never happen for me. 

Friends, please don’t lose hope. Don’t let someone make you feel bad for wanting more. Don’t allow someone to make you feel as if you’re not being a “good, Godly person” because you’re in need of something more.

Is love lost on…

… me?

I can’t sleep. My brain doesn’t stop easily and tonight is no exception. When those things are combined, we get late night posts that I probably regret tomorrow.

And here we are…

Please understand… I am NOT looking for sympathy, pats on the backs accompanied by a “there, there” and, certainly, not pity. That isn’t what this post is about.. it’s my heart at 4 am with no sleep.

I am full of faith in a Mighty God and I trust His plan wholly! (even if I don’t understand it)

With that said, there was a question asked earlier today that prompted this thought that’s been drifting about in my head ever since… the question was something like – how have men disappointed you in past relationships or marriages? My answer – I’ve not been loved.

One might ask how someone becomes 41 and has not been loved. I’m sitting here wondering it myself. But the fact remains… I’ve not been loved.

I don’t understand the whispered “I love yous” or the sideways glance across the room. I’ve not felt the lazy draw of a man’s finger along my arm, leg, hand… I don’t know how I’d feel knowing a heart was worried about me as I drove home from work and wondering whether or not I’d be late. I haven’t been embraced by a man so deeply that my broken was put back together.

Here I am. The never been loved by a man.i_will_call_the_unloved-500x500

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wonder if I will even know how to receive love if it comes my way.

I also imagine I can’t be the only one who is walking this road. Right?  =|

Please know, I’m not sad. I am not hurt. I am not lacking love as I am deeply loved by 1) a God who has died and risen again to know me and love me and 2) by friends and family who cherish me right down to my bone marrow! ❤ =]

The most important thing I am is hopeful. I’m hopeful that God has something for me that is so much better than I could ever hope or imagine! Ephesians 3:20-21

 

(am I actually going to post this? I mean my heart’s desire is to be open in this space, right? – here goes nothin…) =]