I dunno What I’m doing Now

What you may not know about me, or I can’t remember if I’ve shared it here anyway, is how much I love to cook. Not cooking so that I can have a job, though making a bit of money doing it wouldn’t break my heart, doing it because I just love to make sure people are well fed. Physically, emotionally, spiritually.

So, I started a food blog. This isn’t my first one, and maybe it won’t be my last one. I recently left this post on that page’s IG account, and I think it’s important to share it here, too. It’s helpful to understand what I’ve been doing, but it’s also will tie into some other things I hope to write about more in this space.


When I officially made the switch to “food blog” instead of a collection of “me things,” it was because most of the me things were all so heavy, and this wasn’t the suitable space to talk about those things—they still are and it still isn’t—and because I was mainly posting foodstuffs.

I set several goals and expectations for this account, here and on Facebook. Only one has been met—to post consistently. The others that have gone unmet or unreached have convinced me that this isn’t the thing I’m supposed to be doing right now.

The truth is that I don’t have the time to run a test kitchen, write down everything I do, post it to the blog and here and there, create stories and reels and TikToks, create a small food photography inventory, and space, take fun and captivating videos.

I wish I did. I don’t. I have 950 square feet to use loving and caring for the three other people (and one pooch!) who occupy it, to feed them well, to feed my friends well, to create new things off the cuff—without worrying about writing it as I go, and then doing it four more times to make sure it’s excellent and can be recreated over and over.

I want to do that. Someday. Maybe. What I do really well, though, is take care of those around me, make sure everyone has food, shelter, and love. I snap some decent photos now and again of a variety of things. And I tromp around in the forest or by the water’s edge or in a wide-open field and admire the world that’s been created for us.

I don’t fully know what I plan to do here now. I feel like I gave it a good trial run. Maybe I’ll go back to plain old me. 🧡🧡

Loved, or maybe not – July 11, 2020

I have a secret board on Pinterest. This secret board has more pins than any other one, even the Jesus one. It’s called “Loved, or maybe not.”

While most people have given Pinterest the good ole heave-ho, I still keep it, primarily for that secret board. I’m pretty great about sharing feelings and being transparent about everything, except talking too openly about my heart feelings toward love and romance.

Too often, as a single woman (I’ll speak from the I perspective here, though I’m sure many of my single friends would find some agreement here, too), if I talk about being in relationship with someone longingly, then people assume bitter about my singleness.

Or I get so much unsolicited advice about how to find my husband.
Or the Christianese platitudes about how we all have our season and that my husband is coming. How do you know, have you met him??
Or the questions that always come up–how are you still single? Why are you still single?
Or the comments like–when you’re married, you’ll wish you were single.
Or the always crappy saying that if I just loved myself more, someone else would be able to love me, too.
Or the but “you’re so pretty” and “you cook so well.”
Or the “take this time to work on yourself.”
Or “have you thought about understanding why you’re still single?”
Or being told that being married isn’t all that great and also that it’s the greatest thing ever.
Or the… “if you lost weight, cut your hair, grew out your hair, wore more makeup, wore less makeup, change your shoes, wear different clothes, etc.”
Or the “I wish you’d meet someone.” Yeah, me too.
Or when people ask what I’ll do when they’re not around to help. Probably just die.
Or the “do you even go on dates?” “Put yourself out there?” “What about…” Has anyone precisely figured out where out there is?
I could list things out for days. Maybe even weeks.

This is why I keep a secret board on Pinterest. It allows me to feel all my feelings–good, bad, ugly, unkind, sad, unsure, insecure, content–safely tucked away for just me.

I’ve been single the majority of my adult life–that’s 30(ish) years of adult singleness. I have also wanted to be married the majority of my adult life–that’s 30(ish) years of adult singleness. There’s a good chance that I’ve processed through every suggestion above, at least 37 times. And have plenty more of my own, too.Image may contain: text that says 'you are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously sophia bush'

Offering hope to people and also allowing people to sit in the reality of what might be is something that has to be navigated with empathy and compassion. The truth is that it just isn’t going to happen for everyone, and we need (that’s a strong word #sorrynotsorry) to stop telling people it will. Especially when we tell them it will happen if _______ (fill in the blank) because unless God has spoken a word to you and confirmed it through something else, you don’t know.

Singleness can be and often is, sacred time well spent learning lots of things about our spirituality, our flaws, our goodnesses, and about other people. It’s respectable. It’s not something for which we need to feel shame. It is just what it is – a part of who we are and our experience on this Earth.

And sometimes it sucks.
And sometimes it’s great.
And sometimes we have secret boards on Pinterest to deal with it.

It’s tough for single people… lemme change that…it’s tough for ME to open myself up about a topic that is so tender. When I do, and it’s met with all the things (like those above) that won’t allow me to feel what I feel, it doesn’t give me permission to explore my own emotions, and that’s not okay.

One of my favorite things to say is that sometimes we just need to sit with our people in the dark. We don’t need to force them through it, or false hope them out of it, or quickly encourage them to the other side of it – there’s a time and a place for that, for sure. However, sometimes we’re just called to sit with them.

If you’re single and struggling in this season right now, I hate it with you. I still believe in fairytales, and I believe many of us will experience our own kind of fairytale. Yet, at this moment, I hope you give yourself permission to explore everything you’re feeling. I hope you remember that you won’t stay in that place; you’ve been there before, and every time you’ve gotten to the other side of it – I believe you’ll do that again.

You are wonderfully made! – June 30, 2020

Many years ago, I lost a substantial amount of weight and then just kinda settled into my current weight, within 10-15 pounds.

I’m still overweight.
I still wear plus-sized clothes.
I still struggle sometimes to accept my *gross* arms and *gross* legs.

I have the potential to be a lifelong yo-yo dieter; I’m a recovering perfectionist and a high achiever. There was a season in which I spent my days bent over the toilet, throwing up everything that I’d eaten because I wanted to be like other girls.

But…

I’m not like other girls. And neither are you.
I’m not defined by my weight. And neither are you.
I work on being healthy, which may or may not lead to weight loss. And I hope you are working on that, too.

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As a natural caretaker and nurturer, I had to learn to turn some of that caretaking inward on my own heart, spirit, and body. I learned that taking care of me didn’t mean living up to the standards society set for me, or what my family said, or even my friends.

Taking care of me means feeling good, being healthy (body, spirit, mind), and finding some joy every day. End of sentence. None of that says that I have to look a certain way or weigh a specific number.

Some of us will struggle with the sight of ourselves for our entire lifetime. I hope I don’t. And I really hope you don’t either. I don’t want any of us to reach the end of our journey on Earth and wish we’d just loved ourselves exactly how we were created. I don’t want any of us to wish we’d not been so hard on ourselves to achieve something that really didn’t matter in the big scheme of things.

I do hope that each of us comes to a place of health – whatever that means for you and your own body – and happiness. I hope we all learn to value who we see in the mirror regardless of the number on the scale. I hope we all find people who will cheer us on when we’re feeling particularly funkalicious. I hope we all come to know how loved we are, just as we are. I hope we all remember that our Creator didn’t make a mistake with us. We have been wonderfully made, friends.

January is for Stretching

Women who walk in their truth with shaky legs, write with a pen that isn’t very steady, and embrace vulnerability with a racing heart are my kind of women. Brave. Bold. Honest. Storytellers and community makers.

William Wordsworth says, “fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.” Over the last several years, I’ve worked hard to learn how to be vulnerable and honest, but not in a way that makes me seem whiny or like I’m complaining. Just living a transparent life. I’ve taken cues from authors I find to be revealing and honest and faithful; Brene Brown, Lysa TerKeurst, Deidra Riggs, Ann Voskamp, Chrystal Evans Hurst, Priscilla Shirer, Lisa Harper, Kim Hyland, Holley Gerth, Michelle DeRusha, and so many other bloggers, social media heroines, and truth-telling mommas!

Women who walk in their truth with shaky legs, write with a pen that isn’t very steady, and embrace vulnerability with a racing heart are my kind of women. Brave. Bold. Honest. Storytellers and community makers. How many times have we been able to read a blog post, part of a book, or a Facebook post and find a piece of commonality, a sense of togetherness, and a reminder that we don’t have to do any of this alone?! We find strength and encouragement from one another – it’s exactly what we need to be able to survive our own day sometimes.
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Recently I was asked to not share from that place of vulnerability that God has been helping to craft within me over the years as a way to minister to the women in my world. I was asked, essentially to choose; kingdom or not – ministry or not – vulnerability or not – honesty or not – community or not – brave or not – bold or not. I had to decide – shaky legs, unsteady pen, racing heart, or not. Suddenly I was confronted with a choice to either embrace who I’ve been created to be or to push my girl back into the closet where most of her life she had to hide her true self for fear of not being loved, or accepted, or cherished, or worthy enough, or good enough, or any other thing we can throw in there.

My word for the year is Purpose, but my word for January is Stretching. I’ve taken a break from writing, from social media, from all the things that I thought I was supposed to be doing and poured that into seeking God and what He’s asking me to do. I’ve stretched into the Word, into His voice, stretched to hear Him with confidence and clarity. We’re told that when we earnestly seek Him, we will find Him. Y’all, I was on a hunt! From a recent book I read written by Michelle DeRusha called True You, I learned to sit in His presence a little better. She started with 5 minutes a day, and so I did too. Just doing not one thing. Just sitting. Not laying down trying to fall asleep, not reading a book, not praying even. Just soaking in Yahweh. The very name Yahweh is breath – it can’t even be spoken. Sitting in the breath of the Creator was necessary. I’m up to about 15 minutes now since I started this about 6 weeks ago. It’s hard and sometimes I’m really easily distracted, but other times I’m rewarded richly with a clarity unlike anything I’ve ever felt.

From that clarity, the confidence to walk in the Purpose for which I’ve been created is so overwhelmingly clear, I couldn’t deny it if I wanted to deny it. So while I may have to modify some things in order to make all of my world coexist together, I will not back down from the mission He’s given me!

Friends, sometimes we have to make hard choices. I’ve learned that making them in the moment, with all the emotions of it, usually leads me down a path from which I may not be able to recover. However, when we take the time to seek Him and His will, counsel from people whom we trust deeply, and time to sit in His presence – the answers will come. His will for us will be clear. We may not understand it all, but understanding isn’t what we need. We walk in faith and obedience, He makes the way. 

Whatever is in front of you right now, I pray that you step into it with shaky legs and unsteady hands. That you fully embrace who God created you to be and that you remain Kingdom focused when the world around you wants to defeat your God given mission. Walk in the godly confidence which can only come from the Creator of the whole entire everything! Be bold and brave!

 

The struggle is real…

Friends, the enemy finds our weaknesses and he is masterful at using those spaces to dig in his feet and whisper untruths to us. He knows how to angle himself in such a way that we only hear his voice – he wants to stand between us and Him. 

Are you single and okay with it?

I’m not. Not always.

I spent a good deal of my life learning the art of self-sufficiency and independence, but, in some ways, it was to my detriment. So much of my time was spent convincing myself and others that I didn’t need anyone and I started to believe it myself.

The truth is that we do need people. I do. And if you’re being honest, you do too.

It doesn’t mean that I sit around wailing and wanting… although, sometimes I do feel like there is plenty of wailing and wanting happening! heh. It means that sometimes I wonder why my longings are still longings. I get stuck in a place somewhere between being hopeful for a godly marriage and feeling like a hopeless lost cause. I want to believe in it and I also want to be realistic. Yanno?

What I had to realize is that struggling with it isn’t a bad thing. It’s okay to question and wonder about things that we are asking God to do in our lives. We can trust Him and still wonder about the outcomes. Remember my last post where I talked about being frustrated, and that this last year has been one rolling frustration? Yep… my heart was all part of that frustration too.

In the last year, I’ve tried lots of ways to deal with the things that are hurting my heart… I’ve tried to run from church, I’ve tried to drink it away, I’ve tried to get lost in books and movies, and if I’m being really honest, I even thought some physical comfort would do the trick. Thankfully, I didn’t explore that last option more than a passing thought.

The truth of it all is that none of those did or could comfort the longings I felt. Sometimes, for months and/or years, I am able to just go along with normal life without thinking about my desire to be married and other times it’s like I’m being punched in the face. Over and over. A violent reminder of my worthlessness, my inability to close a healthy relationship, my lack of the necessary skill set to secure a man, my inability to attract a man, every flaw on display.

Recognizing how the enemy works was critical to overcoming the constant beating I was doing to my own heart. And there’s a good chance you’re doing it to your heart too. Maybe not today. But maybe you did yesterday or will tomorrow.

Friends, the enemy finds our weaknesses and he is masterful at using those spaces to dig in his feet and whisper untruths to us. He knows how to angle himself in such a way that we only hear his voice – he wants to stand between us and Him.

We are going to struggle. It happens. We have a choice how we struggle and with whom we struggle, though. I’ve made a choice not to struggle with the enemy… I want to struggle with Jesus. With knowing Him better, with allowing Him to know me better, with getting closer to His heart and the things He has for me… that’s my struggle these days.

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As believers, we’ve fed ourselves some untruths like; push through the pain and/or the longing, if you loved God enough you’d be patient and not question His will for you, if you trust His will for your life then you could truly be content in this season. Bleh blebby bleh bleh. The truth is that we gain His power and grow stronger and closer to Christ in moments of our own weakness. When we are in the midst of a struggle and our dependence is all on Him, then we’re closing that gap the enemy uses to speak lies to our hearts. Let’s stop being people who are pretending to be okay when we’re really not okay. Let’s embrace the areas we struggle and struggle with the One who has the answers. Let’s stop shaming other believers for not being content enough, faithful enough, or patient enough. Let’s walk each other to the cross, keep one another in prayers, remember that we’re all just trying to live our best lives and make it into eternity with our Creator.

My name is Stephanie, I love Jesus with every bit of my soul, and I struggle. And He struggles with me. Because I am His and He is mine.

Day 3…

Day 3: What are your top three pet peeves?

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I wish this day were harder to think up something good… but it’s not. I’m a bit obsessive about things, which means I can get peevey when it’s amiss. I’m workin on it, y’all.

Day 3: What are your top three pet peeves?

And for all of you who know me, number 1 iiiiisss… ? Yes, the chewing. Get.It.All.The.Way.TOGETHER. man! I’ve left the room while my mom eats salad because it’s just something with my mom’s mouth saliva vs the ratio of lettuce/tomato intake mixed with dressing — or something. I don’t know. I have big, fat issues with people and their chewing. I also always feel the need to defend this a little, too. It’s been an issue for 40+ years – since I was a child. It’s not some new cool thing to say makes me crazy, it can literally make me crazy. Please, if you have a chance, ask me about the guy at the movie theater and his popcorn. You will see a visual storytelling that will have you feeling my pain!

I feel like the next two that come to mind are also either chewing related or general sound related, and I’m trying to think of something else. I used to really be obsessive about my pantry but then – kids grow up and make things messy and it’s not that important in the big scheme of things and I had a choice to be angry at my kid all the time for messing up the pantry or to love him despite his less than OCD tendencies. I chose the latter.

Oh! Inconsiderate drivers. Bah. Much like most of the world, a little less selfishness and a little more consideration for others would make so many things better; including the roads. Don’t tailgate. Don’t cut people off. Be a good merger/mergee.

The last one would probably be littering. Ugh. Such a disgusting habit. It amazes me that someone can just open the window to their car and throw things out of it. Blech.

Okay, one more sound one.. remember, I said I have issues. Unnecessarily loud breathing is enough to drive me completely mad sometimes. Trust me, I get mad at myself for a persons breathing being an annoyance to me… but, well, I’ll be perfect in heaven.

There you have it – things that will make me bonkers and probably explain why I’m single at 46. 😉

For your viewing pleasure, here are a few more random thoughts.

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Abba Father…

“How do I get Him the way He wants to be got?”

A few months ago, I had a pretty significant conversation with one of my dearests about calling God “daddy” or “dad” or “papa” and how I struggled with it. In some ways, I felt like we were reducing this big, huge, almighty, most powerful, awesome God to something so small as a dad. I also felt like my idea of what a dad is and what God is just didn’t line up – the two things didn’t match in my brain or my heart.

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Then comes along a guest speaker at church yesterday, and the title of his message was “Call Me Dad”. sigh. The Holy Spirit was about to do some work in my heart, I knew it.

1 John 3:1 (AMP) says, “See what an incredible quality of love the Father has shown to us, that we would [be permitted to] be named and called and counted the children of God! And so we are! For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.”

Luckily that was the only scripture for the whole sermon because there’s definitely enough in there for me to unpack without any additional words.

One thing I learned yesterday is that there is a brokenness in my definition of the word “dad”. What it means to me is not God. And in many ways it’s not a good word at all. I also am beginning to understand that my definition of the word dad was never meant to be based on my earthly experiences or understanding. If I’m trying to make God synonymous with an earthy father, the two will never align.

Part of yesterday’s message was trying to understand how God wants me to see Him. “How do I get Him the way He wants to be got?” was a repeating question.

We need to understand how to rest in God’s great love. As we know, it isn’t based on our own works. We can’t earn His love. Nothing we do will make Him love us more. This is such good news! It means that no matter what, His GREAT love – not minimal love, not mediocre love, not withholding love – but His GREAT love is already ours. We had nothing to do with the way He loves us, He just does it. If we’ve been a believer for any length of time, this isn’t new news, but it is news that we sometimes forget. Or that we can’t fully grasp. Let’s continue to remind each other, okay?

We need to learn to receive the gift of lavish grace. The pastor used an analogy of biscuits and gravy and the way he told it would be no good in written format, but it is something we can visualize… a plate of warm biscuits with gravy smothering so much it’s running off the plate – that’s God’s grace. It’s so much that it overflows and we can’t even get all of it. Similar to His love, we can’t buy or earn His grace, it’s just ours. And it’s a gift… we all know that once we try to earn or buy something, we take the concept of it being a gift away. It’s free. And it’s ours. He gives it no matter if we think we deserve it or not. Addictions? Grace. Adultery? Grace. Porn? Grace. Lying? Grace. Selfishness? Grace. There’s literally nothing His grace cannot touch.

Finally, as it’s stated in the scripture above, we have to allow God to rename us. He calls us daughter and son. He has given us that name and when we (I) take that away from Him and refuse to call Him dad, I’m saying what His word says isn’t right or true. I’m saying that He didn’t rename me to be His precious daughter. We have allowed the world around us to name us. We’ve picked up the names the enemy has given us; unworthy, unattractive, unlovable, unbelieving, fat, guilty, shame, dumb, ugly, etc… These names have been given to us by someone who has no power or permission to name us. Our identity comes directly and solely from Christ. We have to stop giving the rights of who we are and to Whom we belong away so easily.

So, I’m convinced. Calling Him “Dad” is not minimizing who God is nor is it comparing Him to my own definition of what a dad looks like here in the world. Abba, Daddy God, Dad, Poppa, or whichever version of Father I land on, is allowing my heart to be consumed with a great love that shows lavish grace to me and Who calls me His own. Thanks, Dad.

I’m okay, you’re okay…

When I’m trying to speak life into my other single friends who are questioning why their desires aren’t being met, I have to really give myself a good pep talk ahead of time sometimes… like… okay, you DO believe what you’re about to say… maybe you don’t believe it right now, but deep down you know it’s true and you just have to keep on saying it to yourself, to others, to any single soul who wants to feel the love of another soul…

5f6e34c8bfb331843d27ae67ccb37678Most of my single friends will agree that we go through stages of being okay if that’s what God has for us, but other times we’re solidly and vehemently against any notion of that idea. Whether we choose to admit it or not, we all long to be loved. God created us to be in relationship with one another. While I believe all forms of relationship are important, I sincerely believe in the importance of close, intimate relationships too. Sadly, many of us have never known them and may never in this lifetime.

When I’m trying to speak life into my other single friends who are questioning why their desires aren’t being met, I have to really give myself a good pep talk ahead of time sometimes… like… okay, you DO believe what you’re about to say… maybe you don’t believe it right now, but deep down you know it’s true and you just have to keep on saying it to yourself, to others, to any single soul who wants to feel the love of another soul… and then I say…

“I don’t know. I have no idea why God is doing what He’s doing in your life or in my own. I don’t know why we’re having to wait. I don’t know what the lesson is to be learned. I don’t know why this person gets a spouse and that person doesn’t. I don’t know if it’s because there is still so much work to be done in our own hearts and lives that He’s just not able to put us together yet. I don’t know if it’s because our spouses are going through their own transitions. I don’t know.

What I do know.. We are loved. God is our faithful Provider and I stand firmly in the truth of that. God is omniscient. He knows things that we can’t even begin to understand or wrap our brains around. I know that God will, in His timing, put us in the exact place He needs us to be for His purpose. God has a path and purpose for each one of us and we might never be in a position to understand what it all means. Stay obedient. Stay in prayer. Stay humble. Be a lovely soul. Have faith that God is going to do the very thing that needs to be done in order for His plans to be carried out.”

And sometimes that’s enough. Other times it isn’t. Some of us really need time to process through the pain of loneliness and unmet desires. We need to be able to sit and be sad about things that aren’t happening that we’ve been praying to happen. We need to be bummed out about rejections every now and then. We aren’t machines…

I feel like one of the strengths that God has given to some of us is to have big huge hearts for people and a willingness to meet them exactly where they are in whatever messy state they’re in, but to also love them firmly with His truth. Being in community with other singles can be hard because we’re all in such different places with such different experiences and hurts… I hope, though, that we’re able to love well the people in front of us, no matter what part of the path they find themselves. We are all in need of extra measures of grace and a wealth of mercy as we process through our stages.

I’m particularly grateful for my friends who have loved me at every lovely and terrible stage of singleness I’ve visited. You’re my people. ❤

Rejections and onions..

There really is no way to know how another person will react when we begin to reveal who we are and why we are and what we are… but there is freedom in walking out our truth and speaking our stories.

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I had a conversation with someone not too long ago and basically said exactly this phrase. It’s certainly a fear that when someone gets to see the real me, the real struggles, the real insecurities, the real everything.. the other person will either determine that I’m not enough or it’ll be too much work to love me.

In either case, I’m alone.

Then last night while talking to a long time friend and discussing this fear of allowing someone to get too close and the possibility of rejection… and how I was left feeling a bit undone and not really sure how to not be too much or too little or too exhausting or too underwhelming or too (fill in the blank…) – his advice was simple.

“You’re like an onion. Even after all these years, I pull back a layer and see something new about you. This keeps things interesting and there’s always something to learn. The alternative is to be like a piece of bread. You see one side and you flip it over and see the other side. Then you’re done. You’ve seen all there is to see. Be an onion.”

There really is no way to know how another person will react when we begin to reveal who we are and why we are and what we are… but there is freedom in walking out our truth and speaking our stories. We won’t always get it right and sometimes we’ll have people walking around with bits of us that we’d rather they not know, but I want to believe that God can even use those rejections in His grand plan.

All of this to say… be an onion. Have layers. Don’t be afraid of your depth. The truth is we will be too real, too hard, and too much for some people. We just continue to be who He has created us to be. We continue to walk with Him and allow Him to direct us to the people He has for us. And be okay with knowing that, on occasion someone will peel back some layers we’d rather wish they hadn’t. It’s called vulnerability and it’s a mandatory part of relationships.

I’m cheering for you friends.. and for me too.

Being me…

When I think about how God created me to be in this world and how to interact within the gifts He’s given me, I’m always drawn to the opportunities I’ve had to share out my story and to be in a place of transparency and vulnerability. While I do believe those gifts to be true, what I also know to be true is that I’m the ultimate gatekeeper to the level of transparency/vulnerability I’m willing to share. In a recent post, I talked about this specifically.

As I was praying last night and then thinking about what my next post would be about, I really felt like God was asking me for a bit more. bd98228d14ddb7951dfdf1b4c7814a60

A few weeks ago, I felt myself slipping into a space where I was questioning my worth on a regular basis, I was comparing myself to other people, I was scared of being overlooked, again. I had an overwhelming fear of rejection creeping over me. I even signed up for a book study called, “Why Her?” (which was good, by the way!) These were all things I hadn’t felt in so long.

After all, I am Strong. Empowered. Brave. Confident. Wise. Smart. Unashamed. Guilt-free. Secure in who I am. Faithful Jesus follower.

And then BAM! suddenly I was back to a place where I was questioning all the things I thought to be true about myself.

My purpose as a woman who encourages others felt like a big, fat, fake lie when I knew that deep inside my own heart I was struggling to keep my heart intact and to keep my footing in God’s truth about me. I was easily able to speak God’s truth over anyone else, but speaking it over myself was becoming difficult. The affirmations I was writing to myself on my mirror left little room for me to actually use the mirror.

And then Jesus… He reminded me that:

1) I don’t belong in that space of doubt, shame, fear, rejection because He feels none of that about me. That isn’t His approach to us – to hold us in that space of questioning our worth. He died for us so that we don’t have to sit in those places… He is alive inside of us.

Galatians 2:20 (AMP) says, “I have been crucified with Christ [that is, in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body I live by faith [by adhering to, relying on, and completely trusting] in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”

2) That I don’t have to stay there. By staying there, we allow the enemy a foothold and we give start to see things the way the enemy sees them rather than the way our Father God sees them. We need to allow the things and truths of God to bubble over so that our footing remains steady.

Psalm 40:1-2 (AMP) says, “I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord; And He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of a horrible pit [of tumult and of destruction], out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock, steadying my footsteps and establishing my path.”

3) He gave me not only Himself to cry out to, but flesh and bone people to walk with me too. One of our most valuable lessons is to remember that God provides all kinds of resources for us to get out of whatever mess we find ourselves in. Many times, it’s our own friends and people He’s put in our lives who are willing to journey alongside us. ( J & S, <3)

1 John 5:14-15 (AMP) says, “This is the [remarkable degree of] confidence which we [as believers are entitled to] have before Him: that if we ask anything according to His will, [that is, consistent with His plan and purpose] He hears us. And if we know [for a fact, as indeed we do] that He hears and listens to us in whatever we ask, we [also] know [with settled and absolute knowledge] that we have [granted to us] the requests which we have asked from Him.”

So, this is the girl who sometimes hides. The one who is, every now and then, way more broken than it may seem. A lot less put together than I might project into my world. Much more undone than done. He’s helping me to reveal the truths, not only for those around me, but also His truth to myself. Today, I am confidently walking in His abundant and overwhelming love for me. He is faithful. And good.