I surrender all…

Let’s start by saying this…

I’m about as “uncheckboxed” of a Christian as one person can get. My pastor is big on not being a “checkbox Christian.” Not being that person who just goes down the list of “Christian things to do” checking off boxes on the way. He’s taught us all great lessons in that area. And get this… I even do things that some people may frown upon. *gasp* I do things that I’m sure some Jesus followers think will send me straight to hell – as a matter of fact, probably wondering why hasn’t it yet. *blink*

Just like them, Christ has a plan for me. Just like me, He has a plan for you. We, sometimes, have to work really hard to figure out what that plan is. And, the plan changes. The last thing God wants is for us to become stagnant. I don’t want to become stagnant! I thrive in change – it keeps me thinking, keeps me moving, and keeps me learning and growing.

As we know, from my explanation of my One Word, change is coming for me – it’s all around me.

If I could       just       put       my       finger       on       it…

I can’t.

But the good news is… I’m learning. I’m talking to people about dreams and ideas. I trying to unfold the lovely that God has created for me.

One of my checkboxes lately is church. And, friends from church who read this… it’s not YOU, it’s me. Truly. And it’s God working IN me. And it’s GOOD! I wish everyone could know my church family. I love each and every person there. God has surrounded me with the most perfect people for me. They love me, encourage me, support me, pray for me, and just keep me real. I love them!

With that said, I’m in this season where, suddenly, I don’t want church walls… I want church in the streets. I want church in a cafeteria feeding hungry people. I want church in a place with babes and dirty faces, hands, feet, and dirty, broken hearts that just need a hug and a little damn bit of hope. I need to get real. And dirty. And jump into the trenches. I need to know that I’m doing SOMETHING to grow the Kingdom. I need to tell one person who doesn’t believe that Jesus loves them that HE DOES!

What good are the lyrics, “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me,” if we aren’t really willing to live it out? Does this mean that I’m just willing to walk away from everything I know? NO! It means that I am trusting God to use me – here, there, anywhere.

When I became a mom, my life changed. Suddenly, I had to be stable. I had to provide for someone. I had to keep my wandering nature in one place, for as long as possible. Inside, my heart has always wanted to do, go, explore, be, minister, etc… I didn’t know how to do that as a mom, a single one. I had to be grounded. It’s been GOOD for me. God has done SO much for me in these years. He has matured me, grown me, and filled me with an overflowing amount of love and faith. I wouldn’t change a thing. Not one.

Yet, here I am now. I have an itch. It’s one that I can’t seem to put my finger on. Do you ever get that?

I heard this song this morning… these words screamed at me – “If I’m under fire, I know it’s refining me. When I hear You calling out, I’ll follow now – wherever the road may go. I know You’re leading me home.” Later in the song it says, “I lift my life, lift my life up. I give it all in surrender,” but, sometimes, what we really mean is we give most in surrender. I want to be an all kinda chick. Please, listen to the song.

So, to wrap up this extremely long post, what am I really trying to say? I have no clue. The good news is that God does. He knows. And He is revealing things to me in little bits and pieces. When I learn more, I’ll share more. For right now, He is placing people around me who are encouraging me and, most importantly, praying for me.

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